Saturday, October 26, 2013

My Story--"The Dream That You Wish Will Come True"

I always have mixed feelings about leaving the hospital.  With Whitney, I remember thinking, "They trust me to take care of such a little helpless person?"  And although going home with Whitney was exciting, I wasn't sure I was ready to be home.  Having the safety of the nurses to teach me what to do in each situation was nice and reassuring, but being on my own as a first-time mom was scary.  With Miri, I felt somewhat protected from the real world in the hospital.  It was like a little sanctuary, and once I went home, I'd have a lot of reality to face.  And being wheeled to the entrance of the hospital with no baby in my arms was such a hard thing to go through.  And, similarly this time, I still didn't really want to leave.  This had been such a happy time, I didn't want it to end.  I wasn't scared about raising a baby.  I wasn't heartbroken like last time.  I just was really enjoying all the visitors, all the time to myself to bond with Annalie, and all the sleep!  When it was time to go, I told Andy not to bring the baby carrier up to my room.  I wanted to be wheeled out, holding Annalie.  He asked why, because one way or another, she would have to get in the carrier in order to go home.  And I just told him that last time leaving empty-handed was almost more than I could take, and I really needed to have her this time during that wheelchair ride.  Just thinking about being able to leave with a happy, healthy baby girl in my arms is so wonderful.

On the car ride home, Whitney surprised me with another joyous tearful moment.  Annalie was crying in the back seat, and the amazing big sister that Whitney has become in just a few days time, thought to sing a song to soothe her.  And the song that she picked was from Cinderella, her new favorite movie.  "A dream is a wish your heart makes...".  The line that just got me to the point of tears though, was the last line of the song.  It goes "No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true."  It couldn't have been more perfect.  She is wise beyond her years and such a blessing.  That song now has such a special place in my heart and will always bring me back to that moment--going home as a family after a long, tough, yet wonderful journey.  My dream finally had come true.

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