My Story--"I'm Here And I'm Doing Alright."

I know this will be my last pregnancy, and one thing that I learned from Miri is that I should not take any of the milestones or joys for granted.   With Whitney, we took pictures of my growing belly every couple of weeks.  With Miri, I was busy and I kept putting it off and putting it off, and actually never got around to taking one belly picture.  And it's funny, because when I look back on all the pictures we did take over the course of those 7 months, my tummy is hidden in every single picture.  Literally...there's not one where you can actually see it.  It was either out of the frame or covered up by Whitney or a counter or a toy.  I wonder if this was another way the universe was kind to me...I have no pictures that I would want to put away or not look at.  There's nothing that will cause these difficult memories to resurface.  In any event, I have to make this pregnancy different from the last one in every way that I can.  I made sure we took pictures this time.  And every time we do, I feel a little better and a little more hopeful that it will all turn out well in the end.

It's the end of January.  I am 16 weeks along, and I had the most miraculous thing happen this evening. I was sitting in bed, talking to Andy, and all of a sudden, I felt a huge kick!  It was so hard that it made me jump and shout "Whoa!"  I looked at Andy, and I said, "She just kicked me...hard."  It was the first time I felt her move, and it wasn't a little flutter.  It was a full-fledged thump.  Having been pregnant twice before, I know that that first sign of life is usually so faint that you wonder if you really even felt it.  But not this time.  It was as if my little girl wanted to say "I'm here, and I'm doing alright...no need to worry, Mom!"  It was so wonderful to feel!

A few weeks have passed since that first kick, and I've felt her move every day since then.  She never went through that fluttery phase.  It's getting more and more frequent and stronger and stronger.  She really is a wiggle worm.  More so than either Whitney or Miri ever were.  And it's nice, because it's really just what I need to have.  I need the constant reassurance that she's doing okay.  I need to be reminded not to worry.  My mom was right...I got the child I was meant to have.